New Every Morning -- Broken Path

The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,

For His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23 NASB

I typed the Scripture above because I've included them in every Our Journey post.  I'm having a hard time believing them, but there they are.  The words sit there on my screen.  He is faithful.  Another verse comes to mind, and I cling to it...

If we are faithless, He remains faithful,

for He cannot deny Himself.

2 Timothy 2:13 NASB

We were beginning to see the lighted path before us, we were walking, working hard, making plans to get out of the hole in which we find ourselves after three years' struggle, and now this.

The Broken Path

Tuesday night, after my walk in the woods, after the peace and the determination and #threewords and the hope of recovery, Fernando called.

"Are you sitting down?"

He would not be finishing this job.  He would fly home Wednesday morning from Dallas.  This leg of our journey was over.

Details aren't appropriate here, but I spent a restless night, Fernando a sleepless one.  He caught a flight to Midway; I struggled out of bed, drove to the airport, sat numbly at the waiting lot, got his text, picked him up, and drove him home.  Half an hour later I left for work.

What path is this?  Where are we headed now?  I'm at a loss.  I don't know.

What we thought was the road, is no longer.  There isn't just a tree trunk across it, blocking the way.  It's a dead end.  A cliff.  It now leads nowhere.  And I don't know where to go, turn around, turn aside, wait.  It is all darkness and uncertainty, and it takes all my strength to stand there, to keep my eyes open and breathe.

Back at my favorite spot, the yellows have appeared, not quite at full brilliance but they're there.  I've captured it with my camera at least, to look at later, to close my eyes and remember.  This is what He wanted me to see--His faithfulness, leading us through.  I can't see it yet.  Some day I'll look back and I'll be able to see it.  But not yet, not now, not with these eyes.

My faith is small, insignificant.  But He is faithful; it's there in black and white in those words, His words, His Word.  He is faithful because that's who He is.  I have no idea what He's doing, where He's leading us.  The whys hang there, big black words in my head floating around.

Even so, I cry out to Him, I trust You.  I don't know what You're doing, why You're doing it.  I hurt, Lord.  I trust You, though.  You're my Father and You're completely trustworthy.  You'll lead us to that green meadow, where I can rest and be at peace.  But right now I just hurt.

My shaken faith; faith which is the evidence of things not seen, and I'm blind right now.  I can't see.  I know I'm His, but faith?  Yet I will trust Him.  It's all I have.

Broken road, broken heart, and trying to breathe...

Christine

Read previous segments here:

The Beginning
The Injury
The Furnace
The Waiting
Employment
The House
The Phone Call
The Truck
The Car
The Business
Nightfall
The Gift
Eight Days

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

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Where the Lord Leads

A week or so ago, I decided to take a walk at The Morton Arboretum.  It was a warm day, perfect for an hour-long stroll in the woods, and Danny decided to tag along.  We both took cameras, just in case, of course.

We lasted about 15 minutes, long enough to realize the swarms of mosquitoes at our backs were eating us alive.  Swatting, flicking, scratching, we trotted through the woods back out to the road, then down the road back to the parking lot and our car.  Our leisurely walk turned into a mad dash for the safety of our mosquito-free car.  We even rolled up the windows and turned on the a/c, it was that bad!!

Sometimes the Lord takes us on journeys like this, and we have to be prepared for some mosquitoes amid the beauty.  Yes, I'm trying to turn this into a spiritual lesson--I think it works, too!

Armed with His Word, His promises, His love, His grace, we walk on.  We were almost too busy swatting mosquitoes to take in the sheer greenness all around us along the path cooled by the trees and the breeze.  Next time, armed with mosquito spray, we'll be able to stop and appreciate all that's around us--majestic trees along the soft wooded path, skittering squirrels and chipmunks darting here and there in the brush, and sudden spots of color--flowers that have found their way to grow toward the dappled sunlight.

The Lord has made a thousand living things to survive--and thrive--in many different ecospheres; we can find our way as well, with His grace.  He uniquely made each created thing, including me, to exist in its environment.  Whether I'm a flowering beauty, bursting forth in bright color in bright sunlight, or whether I'm a hardy green Jack-in-the-pulpit, quietly living almost hidden on the forest floor, catching glimpses of sun through the branches and leaves--I can grow where He plants, live how He has made me, for His purpose, for His glory.

I took one last hurried picture of the woods, looking into the trees from the roadside, before we hurried along to our car.  The penetrating green of early summer met my eyes, and I pause now as I think back to that moment, thankful that even in His transplanting me to different environments and circumstances, my roots are in Him, deep in His Word and His promises, and He gives grace to grow and live for Him.

Back home, I spotted one more flower, which happened to sprout up in the sand we poured along the entrance to our garage door.  This hardy daisy grew in the most unlikely of places, without dirt or grass or a beautiful garden surrounding it.  It not only grew, but bloomed, right there in the sand along the asphalt.

I'll bloom where I'm planted, Lord.  Send my roots deep into You; gird me up and grow me strong.  Shine in my life as I surrender to You, and bring glory to Your name because of me.


Back to life,
Christine

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A Promise and A Garden

September 25.

With Fernando hardly working, we were nearing the end of the hope of staying here in the suburbs.  Our gaze was beginning to look beyond, to the possibility that the Lord wanted us somewhere else.  (If you really want to know what happened, jump to this post.)

Meanwhile, we were clinging to the Lord's promise in Psalms.

The garden I thought wouldn't happen this year was a huge blessing.  I was able to can so many things!  And even in later September, I was able to gather lots of tomatoes from the slowing browning plants.

Autumn is a beautiful time of harvest, of color so bright and bold before its death, so to speak, as nature turns to slumber in a monochrome winter's sleep.  Even in my garden, the tomatoes were bright reds, oranges, and yellows--I focused on soaking in all that color, to treasure it within, for the dark and drear were coming.  We were still walking in the dark, taking baby steps, trusting the Lord with our future--employment, our home, our young men.

But the Lord gave us this color, this beauty, before we stepped into the winter.


Back to life,
Christine

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New Every Morning - Part One

The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,

For His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23 NASB

Although this blog serves several purposes, one of which is sharing our family's journey, I really haven't shared a lot of details lately.  We have been on a particularly long leg of the journey these past several months, and I suppose now is the time to catch up on our lives.

There's my tea--Forever Spring oolong.  I thought it was fitting to drink of cup of this given the never-ending winter we've been enduring!

On to our story; but, as I share it, I hope you'll see the fingerprints of the Lord all over it and woven through it.  Someone once shared with me the story of the loom--how the Lord is weaving a tapestry of our lives, but what we see woven on our side of the fabric seems a mish-mash of colors, without a discernible pattern, all jumbled with no defining theme.  But, when the Weaver is finished, and turns over His tapestry, what appears is fantastic--a beautifully woven piece, every hue just so.  He is making something beautiful with our lives, and sometimes we can't see it; it appears to be just a messy pile.  That's where trust enters the picture--and that's where we've been these past months.

Now, here is our story, starting in the spring of 2013.

May.  Fernando's employer, Miteq, was up for sale throughout the spring, and we knew that a buyout would possibly/probably mean a layoff for many, including him.  All his co-workers told him he's never get laid off; he was too valuable to the company and to the clients.  Fernando's response was that our Lord could do whatever He pleased in our lives to achieve His purposes.  We weren't worried.  Fernando still had a job, and still brought home a paycheck.

My May garden, planted in faith that we would be here for the harvest.

June.  Our state homeschool convention is the focus for the beginning of this month every year, and once again we were looking forward to all the details that came along with it.  As the Coordinator for Special and Struggling Learners (within our state homeschool organization, ICHE), I am responsible for bringing in a speaker (or more) to address topics pertinent to parents who homeschool special needs and struggling students.  On Wednesday the 5th, ICHE kicked off the convention with their speaker banquet, and then the convention ran from Thursday through Saturday the 8th.

Just before the banquet, I got a phone call from Fernando:  Miteq had been bought (it would not be made public until July).  Certain (few) employees had been called in to Human Resources, but not Fernando.  Like most of the other employees, he received a large manila envelope.  He was being terminated.  The notice stated that he would be guaranteed work through the end of August, and would be laid off by the end of November.  This news was huge and my mind couldn't comprehend the timing--did the Lord not know that it was the very beginning of the convention?  How were we supposed to function throughout 3 1/2 solid days of taking care of speakers, attending/overseeing workshops, talking to people, coordinating schedules...??  Ultimately, I knew that the Lord was in complete control, and I would have to trust that His grace was sufficient.  And it was.

Fernando and I were supposed to present a workshop together on Thursday; however,Fernando had to go in to work to take care of all the paperwork involved in the transfer of ownership.  I would have to do the workshop alone.  At lunchtime that day in the speaker cafeteria, I opened my Bible and right there, shining out from the book of Psalms, was the conclusion of what I would present later that day in the workshop!  I scribbled down notes, thanking the Lord for His mercy the whole time.

A June sunset from the comfort of home.

There was a blessing in the busy-ness of our state convention; I didn't think about it until the weekend ended and I had time to sit down, breathe, and look back.  God's timing had been perfect, and I had to trust His timing by seemingly blind faith.

When I finally looked back, I was flooded with thankfulness at His incredible mercy--for, just when I could have been overwhelmed with worry, wondering what we would do, how things would turn out, the Lord had given me a job to do.  That job--the convention--would keep me busy beyond belief, just as it does for a week every June.  I had no time, not even a minute, to dwell on the uncertainty that had come crashing into our lives.  I wasn't just busy, either, with my daily routine.  I was doing the Lord's special work that week--encouraging others, sharing with them, praying with them, counseling them, as they faced their own uncertainties with their special and struggling children.  What a joy to be about the Lord's unique work for the week, and to not even have time to worry about my own life!

To conclude this Part One of our story, I want to share the Scripture the Lord gave me for that Thursday workshop.  It was the final section of my talk, and the part where I should have sat back and let Fernando do some talking!  This section of my presentation was titled God Will Provide.  Although it pertained to our journey with sweet Joseph who has autism, there was a bigger meaning to His Word, as we began this unknown, unwritten new chapter in our life.

God will provide faith where there is none.

It is a trustworthy statement:  For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him;

If we endure, we will also reign with Him;

If we deny Him, He also will deny us;

If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

2 Timothy 2:11-13

God will provide strength when yours runs out.

As for God, His way is blameless;

The word of the Lord is tried;

He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.

For who is God, but the Lord?

And who is a rock, except our God,

The God who girds me with strength

And makes my way blameless?

He makes my feet like hinds' feet,

And sets me upon my high places.

He trains my hands for battle,

So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You have also given me the shield of Your salvation,

And Your right hand upholds me;

And Your gentleness makes me great.

You enlarge my steps under me,

And my feet have not slipped.

Psalm 18:30-36

God will provide the next step on a darkened pathway.

When I question if He'll be there, and where His hand will lead me...

Even there Your hand will lead me,

And Your right hand will lay hold of me,

If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,

And the light around me will be night,"

Even the darkness is not dark to You,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You.

Psalm 139:10-12

Onward to Part Two.


Back to life,
Christine
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Bread Baking Day

I made rice bread today, one of my favorite bread recipes because it always seems to turn out light and fluffy.  That's important when you're working with freshly ground whole-wheat flour!  I've decided I want to try making it as our "bread of choice," our daily lunch bread, even though it calls for making a batch of rice (I've used both white and brown), and seems to take longer to make (though that isn't really true).

I made a mistake with this batch, too, and instead of measuring out four scant cups of rice for my quadruple batch, I dumped the three cups of water into the entire pot of rice (I always cook more rice than I need).  Needless to say, I had watery rice which got eaten anyway, and also used for bread.  But, because there was extra water in it, I had to add extra flour to the dough as it was kneading in my Bosch mixer.

The result was rather large loaves of bread, but I went ahead and baked them.  Here's how they turned out:

My funny looking bread loaves.  :)

That loaf on the left was the largest one, and it was so large that it baked up high and into the oven rack above it!!  There are lines on the top of the loaf.  My guys quickly ate it up, and it was soft and chewy and so very yummy.

Here's a passage of Scripture to go along with my funny bread.

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,

And He delights in his way.

When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,

Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.

I have been young and now I am old,

Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken

Or his descendants begging bread.

Psalm 37:23-25 NASB

What a meaty passage of Scripture, food for the soul!


Back to life,
Christine

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Taste and See!

The Lord is good.  He gives to us from the abundance of His blessings, and His blessings are sweet.  Even when they seem bitter at the time, He is working in sweet ways, for His glory.

My cousin Tom taps the maple trees on his property, and has a great little maple syrup business going--not that I want you to know about it, in case you buy up all his syrup!  (just kidding, of course)

Seriously, though, we brought home a lot of maple syrup (the above does not show all that we got), with most of it being for our friends who order through us.  Oh, pure maple syrup is so sweet!  It's hard to imagine all that sweetness in one bowl!  (And who would want to?)

O taste and see that the LORD is good;

How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

Psalm 34:8 NASB

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- Surely I Will

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...Irish breakfast tea in my Polish pottery mug, as I do every morning.

I'm feeling...fine, healthy, no cold, no sickness, for which I'm thankful.  :)

On my mind...is my sweet Joseph, who is 23 years old today.  Despite the challenge of autism and the struggles and roadblocks he faces every day, he is a sweet, thoughtful young man who is happy to be sheltered in love at his dad's and mom's house.  I can't believe I have a 23-year-old!  Many twisty-turny roads lie ahead for Joseph as he (and we) contemplate his future, but for right now I'm resting firmly in the Lord's hand for the future of the amazing gift He gave us so many years ago.  Joseph has made our lives rich beyond comprehension.

I leave you with...two passages of Scripture.  This first one is a claim as a promise for our son.

 Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NASB

This second one is a reminder to those of us without disabilities.

Now we who are strong ought to bear

the weaknesses of those without strength

and not just please ourselves.

Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good,

to his edification.

Romans 15:1-2 NASB

Joseph and a sunrise in Florida (May 2011)

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,

That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.

Proverbs 4:18 NASB

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- As I Do Today

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...it's time for a cup of Trader Joe's sipping chocolate!  So rich and creamy and chocolatey.  Mmm...

I'm feeling...fine and dandy.   I resist the urge to share all my aches and pains with you.  It's a simple fact of aging, and I won't dwell on it.  My heart is happy, and that's all that matters for Tea Time.  :)

On my mind...is helping my parents get ready to move!  They've listed their house on the market and there's still lots to do helping them pack things up.  I love logistics, and I love helping my parents!

I leave you with...a passage of Scripture I literally just came across as I was reading.

It is the living who give thanks to You,

as I do today;

A father tells his sons about Your faithfulness.

The LORD will surely save me;

So we will play my songs  on stringed instruments

All the days of our life at the house of the LORD.

Isaiah 38:29-20 NASB

Spring flowers in the woods

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- Something New

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...a cup of Irish breakfast tea in my Polish pottery mug.

Creamer {coneflower} with teapot in background {blue poppy}

I'm feeling...pretty good after a few nights of good sleep.  It has been so warm--summer-like temperatures have reigned for over a week!--that it has been hard to get sleep.  I'm wearing short-sleeved shirts and my hair up off my neck, and bare feet around the house.  I even weeded my gardens this week!

On my mind...all those appointments and dates and events are starting to stack up again.  I'm staying upbeat about them all, though this warm weather is making it hard to get anything done.  I've also been preoccupied with our anniversary trip coming up in September.  I know it's a long way off, but it's now official--we've purchased plane tickets and are now researching accommodations to make sure we can get a good deal early.  And that means time to research, read, email, ask, etc.  Here's a hint:  think cafés and coffee, narrow streets and amazing architecture, and too many places to see in one week's time.  :)

I leave you with...a Scripture verse containing the word spring (even though it means something different).

Behold, I will do something new,

Now it will spring forth;

Will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,

Rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:19 NASB

Spring daffodils in my neighborhood!

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- A Home for the Lonely

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...a cup of pomegranate green tea, leaves given to me by my sweet neighbor Lorraine.

Green tea leaves with pomegranate

I'm feeling...warm and humid!  You would not believe how warm it was here yesterday--close to 80 degrees Fahrenheit!  In March!  In Chicago!  Here (below) is a picture of a teacup; I took it at the Mother/Daughter Encouragement weekend and it fits these summery days perfectly.  The warmth is supposed to continue for a week or so!

On my mind...is lots of stuff, as usual.  Jacob has gotten some appointments and things out of the way and on the calendar (that's always good to get appointments set!).  I'm helping my mom de-clutter so she and Dad can get ready to list their house for sale.  And I scheduled a photo shoot for April--always something to look forward to!  Everything else is rather haphazard right now, so I'm trying to muddle through.  I also have big plans on my mind for Fernando and me to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this autumn!  Fernando and I have been huddled around books and the computer screen a lot, doing research and mostly dreaming right now.  Hopefully one of the dreams will become reality, and I'll let you know as soon as it does!

I leave you with...a little passage of Scripture.

God makes a home for the lonely;

He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,

Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Psalm 68:6 NASB

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- Oaks of Righteousness

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...a cup of Emerald Isle tea, which I bought at our farmers market last summer.  I've been enjoying tea in my Polish pottery, a gift from Jacob.

I'm feeling...tired.  I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, and life is crazy right now.  I have way too much on my mind!  Speaking of which...

On my mind...helping Jacob get all his paperwork, essays, applications, etc. done by their respective deadlines.  Transferring to WIU is crazy!  Then, there's Joseph's possible employment, which he's now balking at; Fernando and I have begun a discussion about implementing a plan for "a future and a hope" for our autistic son.  Plus, Danny is suffering through a bad cold while trying to keep up with college classes, and Thomas is home with me working with a haphazard, slightly crazy homeschool schedule.  There's other stuff, but really, I can't handle any more right now.  :)

I leave you with...this verse of Scripture.

...Giving them a garland instead of ashes,

The oil of gladness instead of mourning,

The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.

So they will be called oaks of righteousness,

The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3 NASB

A tree at North Central College

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- No Longer

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...a cup of Irish breakfast tea to start off my morning.

Two cups for two sisters

I'm feeling...tired.  We have had a trying week, and I feel weary attempting to process the wildly erratic emotions connected with event after event.  Mind you, the events haven't been earth-shattering, but the week has been one thing right after another.

On my mind...is my to-do list with deadlines looming and no desire to get anything done.  I'm not down in the dumps; I'm just tired.  I know the Lord will lift me up, and I know that many are praying for me, and for our family (again, nothing dire).  I'm resting in His mercy and strength in time of weakness.

I leave you with...hope from the Scriptures.

And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes;

and there will no longer be any death;

there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain;

the first things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4 NASB

Last week--looking down the street where my parents live

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- Get Yourself Up!

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

A quick note--I can't believe I haven't blogged in over two weeks!  I spent several days out of town, and just haven't had any time to blog since I returned home.  I think I'm finally getting back into the routine of my life, though, and I'm very happy to start blogging again by sharing Tea Talk with you all today!


I'm having...a cup of Irish breakfast tea in my Polish pottery mug.  Since you've seen my tea cups before, I'm sharing someone else's cup with you today.

A tea cup from a Christmas tea party

I'm feeling...fine.  Some of the muscle pain in my neck has eased, and I am leaving the rest in the Lord's hands.

On my mind...is editing the final 15 of the 300+ images I took at the SECHDF Mother/Daughter Encouragement Weekend in Georgia.  Not only did I get to shoot the two-day event, I got to spend lots of time with my sister D.  :)  Now I have just a bit of hard work left, then it's organizing everything, getting portraits printed, then mailing them off.  I'm also praying for a few print orders from the event!

I leave you with...a passage of Scripture that brings hope.  I'm looking ahead to warmer weather (though this winter has been nothing to complain about!), to spring and to the celebration of Jesus' resurrection.  This passage also helps me look ahead with hope and excitement.

Get yourself up on a high mountain,

O Zion, bearer of good news,

Lift up your voice mightily,

O Jerusalem, bearer of good news;

Lift it up, do not fear.

Say to the cities of Judah,

"Here is your God!"

Isaiah 40:9 NASB

Looking forward to spring!!

Back to life,
Christine

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Tea Talk -- So Great and So Far

Welcome to my home for Ruth's Tea Talk!
Click on Ruth's button above to participate with me.

Sit and share a cup of tea with me as we encourage each other in the Lord.

I'm having...a cup of tea with honey and half-n-half.  It's my typical morning cup of tea.

Morning tea in my Pfaltzgraff Ocean Breeze teacup

I'm feeling...fine, mostly.  I slipped on the stair into our garage last weekend, and it exacerbated the pain I was already experiencing in my neck due to pulled muscles.  Nothing has worked so far, so I'm off in a few minutes to see a massage therapist.  If nothing else, I'll end up relaxed by lunchtime!  :)

On my mind...is my upcoming trip to Georgia!  Details are swirling 'round my brain, including figuring out how not to have to check a bag (it's $25 each way to check a suitcase; can you believe that??).  I have to get all my photography gear in order, clean my camera's sensor (a tricky procedure I've never done), put together pricing sheets, edit photos for display (digital picture frame) at the two-day conference at which I'll be shooting.  So many details!  I'll soon be in full swing pulling all of this together.  All I do is start making lists, and that eases any panic I feel.  Then I simply start "doing" and checking items off.

I leave you with...a passage from Psalms that brings such comfort to my heart.

He has not dealt with us according to our sins,

Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.

As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children,

So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.

For He Himself knows our frame;

He is mindful that we are but dust.

Psalm 103:10-14 NASB

Sunset in the woods

Back to life,
Christine

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