The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23 NASB
Read previous segments here:
The Phone Call
Now that a month has gone by, it's time for an update. Fernando's current work with Arctek is indeed a gift, as I called it in the last post. Unwrap any gift, however, and you'll find not only gratefulness and excitement, but responsibility, and sometimes even burden as well. Such is the case with this precious gift of work.
Off on his next job assignments.
Eight days. That's the sum total of time I've seen my husband since he started working from January 4 through tonight.. Home late on a Saturday, or perhaps a Sunday afternoon, then gone again Monday afternoon, or Tuesday morning. Precious days, or just hours, scattered here and there throughout the last month and a half, slivers of time we've held on to because it was trickling away.
Grateful? Absolutely. Bills are being paid, and the household is running more smoothly.
Exciting? Definitely. I'm excited for Fernando, who loves to travel and work with people; I love to see the photos he posts on Facebook, and I enjoy the stories he tells me over the phone of his adventures, the assignments, and the people he meets.
Then there's the responsibility, and the burden--both obviously Fernando's, since he's the one with the job. But both mine, too.
I shoulder the responsibilities and burdens of home, and taking up those things I haven't normally had to do: minor home repairs, new windshield wipers on the car, paying bills, even filling the car with gas. I've become the "business widow," the woman who stays behind while her man goes away to provide for his family. Don't get me wrong--I'm not complaining! There are blessings spread throughout the alone-ness...
Dog-sitting this bundle of (mostly) fun was a delight!
There's less laundry to do...
I'm still making delicious meals, and there are plenty of leftovers!
Our bed looks like this; I flip down a corner at night, and when I wake up, flip it back up and poof--the bed is made!
We've been through so much that I can't not think about those blessings! The Lord has opened this door and ushered us through, each with our own responsibilities and burdens, at the same time walking the road together. And, as the days apart tick away, I start looking forward to our days together.
The weight of Fernando's leave-taking becomes replaced with the anticipation of his return, this particular day being Jake's "Games 'n Grub" party he likes to throw for his birthday celebration late January. I told the boys to make a sign and prop it up in the driveway so Fernando would have a parking space when I got home that evening.
Jake's cake--Almond Cream Cake--became more than just a birthday cake to me, and the celebration became in a sense more than just Jake's birthday. Fernando would be home!
Happy birthday, Jake! (Thanks, Vic, for grabbing my camera and taking this picture!)
This time, we had a day and a half together. Fernando fell into bed 8:30 that night of the party, we attended church services the next morning, and we napped in the afternoon. By Monday afternoon, he was driving away again.
Through the weight of watching Fernando leave, waving goodbye until the SAT truck disappears around the curve and turning away toward the responsibilities waiting for me just inside that front door, I take a breath. Then one more, deep; I hold it for just a moment, then release it. I shut the door, and turn to this new life.
Over the last (almost) three years, the Lord has brought to an end so many things in our lives--employment, homeschooling, self-sufficiency and complacency, even our church home. He carried Fernando and me to this completely new road, not one we would ever have chosen for ourselves, not one we could ever have envisioned for the second half of our life together, but it's His way for us, by His leading. He closed the door on yesterday, and opened a new one, a beginning, for today and tomorrow.
I'm now at the point where I feel like I can breathe again, where I can see His light along the road ahead, while knowing that when I look back I will see the depths of His grace in our lives. It's time, and I step into the future, lit by His grace.
Back to life,
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